As I come to the end of my degree, I feel as though I have learned a lot in the past three years of university, and in life as a whole.
I know a lot of you come here for advice on university life, so I think it is important to share this life lesson with you all. Now, this may come across as a bit of a negative to start with, but I promise that my life has changed for the better since I’ve accepted this.
It’s important to accept that not everyone will stay in your life forever.If you are a first-year who has left college or sixth form recently, you are probably struggling with the fact that friends you spent a long time with suddenly aren’t checking in on you and you aren’t making time for each other anymore. The reality is, as you get older you are learning about yourself and discovering new hobbies and people. You may come to realise that people you’ve been friends with for a long time weren’t actually friends… but more people you spent time with out of convenience at school or college etc.
It’s a learning process and it means that you will discover who a true friend is. I am lucky enough to have a handful of true friends that I know will be in my life for a very long time. The reason I know this is because I’ve been through the process of losing friends. I know now what true friendship is.
In reality, a true friend will be someone who you don’t necessarily have to talk to every day and you know that you don’t NEED to talk to them every day to maintain the friendship. You both know you can go weeks without talking but if either of you has a problem you can go to each other. As you become an adult you have a lot less free time and it’s okay to not text someone every day.
Even at university, I have made friends who I thought “Oh my gosh what amazing people, I hope we are friends forever” but then things happen ,and the friendship fizzles out. And that is completely okay! You can’t be friends with everyone in the world, and if a friendship is causing you to lose sight of what is important to you then it’s best to cut your losses anyways.
Friendship shouldn’t be hard work it should be natural. Uni life is stressful enough without having more unnecessary stress. If people are causing petty arguments and making you feel unwelcome, then don’t bother. Surround yourself with people who are positive because at this point in your life that is what you need.
After becoming ill, I saw a massive difference in my friendships. I noticed that because I was sick and couldn’t put in as much effort as before some friendships turned sour or I realised they were one-sided. However, I also saw the true friends shine and become even kinder and more supportive than ever. The important thing to take away is that you will have true friends, it’s just about realising who they are (even if it’s your parents). And I will always be your friend!
I also realise I sound like Kylie Jenner in this blog…
Jade x