Life at UCB through the eyes of our student bloggers

Coping with grief

Coping with grief

Fortunately this is a topic I haven’t had masses of experience with. I’ve never lost a sibling, or a parent, but I have lost a friend. In 2017 someone who was extremely special to me passed away.

Grief is a funny emotion and one that I think is pretty indescribable – devastation is the closest thing I can relate it to. You know when films have that glass shattering effect when something bad happens; it’s like that but for real. For me, when the person I loved passed away, I wasn’t ready to do the heartfelt Facebook posts or sob at the funeral. My grief came in the form of missing them and the little things they did or said. It’s been one year and all I want to say is how much I miss them.

Obviously the initial shock was the worst. It’s always bad when it’s someone that you see through childlike eyes see as indestructible and a pillar of strength is gone, all of sudden. This person helped me find friendship and a family, friends that I’ll have for the rest of my life and I can’t express my thanks enough (as seen in the picture above).

My advice when going through something like this is take your time. I learnt in the hard way, going into work the day after I found out, slicing my finger open with a knife because I couldn’t concentrate and then hysterically crying in front of my sous chef, partly due to the finger, partly due to the bereavement. Some people say you have to leave your personal lives outside of work, but we’re not robots, things happen and sometimes life gets overwhelming and this can happen in the most unattractive of ways.

So when going through hard parts of life, take a moment, breath and use those you love to get you through it. Most of all make the person you’ve lost proud.

Thank you for being my friend,

Rob Cook

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